


To Talk of Many Things

by Mara



Series: Control [4]
Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 02:22:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11613930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: Hiiro really doesn't want to have this conversation, but he's not the one in control.





	To Talk of Many Things

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to CurryJolakia for the prompt to write this and everyone else for the encouragement to keep writing this unruly lot.

When the three of them woke in the morning, there was kissing, which was very good. Hiiro hadn't been sure if kissing Emu would feel like kissing Kiriya and it both did and didn't. He thought it might be interesting to spend more time kissing both in order to figure out what the precise differences were.

They'd kissed until Emu finally sighed and insisted everyone had to get up and go to work. At the door, Kiriya gave them both hard kisses that made Hiiro's entire body feel too tight, then left. Focusing on slipping on his shoes, Hiiro couldn't look up at Emu.

"Hiiro."

He froze. "Yes."

"We'll talk tonight after work."

Hiiro nodded once.

"Hey." And Emu was there, fingers under his chin. "I'm not angry with you, okay?" He paused. "Disappointed, maybe. But not angry. We're not talking so I can lecture you or yell at you, but so I can understand."

He nodded again.

Emu bit his lip, looking at Hiiro. "Are you okay? I should have asked. It was—"

"I'm fine." Reaching out, he touched Emu's arm. "I just need to process yesterday."

A grin. "You and me both. Can I kiss you?"

"Any time." That didn't require any thought. The kissing part was just right.

Chuckling, Emu leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss and a pat on the cheek. "You're off at 5?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk here or at your place?"

That made Hiiro pause. How like Emu to still be thinking of Hiiro's comfort, even for this conversation. And he knew that Emu wanted the truth. "My home."

"Then I'll meet you there when I'm done." And Emu kissed Hiiro again, gently. "Now get going, so you're not late."

* * *

Hiiro was grateful Emu didn't push the conversation, because he needed some time to recover from his first experience with sex.

It had been…something. He shied away from examining it too closely, focusing on getting ready for work, but his body kept tingling in unexpected places.

Putting on his white coat, Hiiro felt his face warm as he thought about it again despite himself. Nothing had ever felt like that before. And not just the physical aspects but the way it felt to see Kiriya so affected by him and the joy of making Emu look and sound so happy.

In theory, he knew about oxytocin and testosterone and vasopressin, but that theory was essentially irrelevant when he was lying on a bed and the two men were looking at him like he was something…well, like he was something wonderful. It also felt much better than he expected to both touch and be touched.

When…that man had touched him, it had been nauseating. Hiiro had spent some time imagining Kiriya and Emu touching him, in order to make sure it wouldn't cause the same reaction. But his imagination had utterly failed to get anywhere close to reality.

And cuddling. Hiiro shook his head. Who knew that cuddling could feel so not-awkward? 

There were so many things they hadn't tried yet. Things Hiiro had heard of and had never found appealing were now intriguing.

It was going to be a long day at work.

* * *

Hiiro went through his normal routine when he got home, showering and eating a light but healthy dinner. All day he'd been distracted by thinking about more touching, but now that the discussion was getting closer, Hiiro started to wonder what he would say. What Emu would say. Not telling him something this important was bad. Worse than any other error he'd made in the past months.

When Emu texted that he was nearby, Hiiro went downstairs and sat on the couch, trying to clear his mind. It didn't work as well as usual, sparks of fear making his stomach hurt as he remembered Emu saying he'd abused his trust.

By the time Emu arrived, Hiiro's skin felt like it was crawling. Regulating his breathing took effort, so all he could do was wait. After the front door closed, it was only moments before Emu was there, kneeling in front of him. Emu snapped out, "Look at me."

Hiiro responded automatically, head lifting to look into Emu's wide and startled eyes.

"I am _not_ angry. I am _not_ leaving you. Everything is okay. Do you hear?"

Hiiro focused on Emu, narrowing his world. Emu would never lie about this. Emu had never lied to him about anything.

Putting his hands on the sides of Hiiro's head, Emu gently rubbed at Hiiro's temples with his thumbs. "You with me?"

"Yes."

"Can I kiss you?" Emu asked.

Hiiro frowned. "Of course."

Emu opened his mouth, then closed it. "Hmm." And he leaned forward, initiating a long, slow kiss.

It felt even better than Hiiro remembered from that morning. They lazily tangled tongues, testing out different angles and pressures. When Emu finally pulled back, Hiiro could barely remember why he'd been upset.

"We need to talk," Emu said, looking nearly as dazed as Hiiro felt. "About the kissing and everything else. Before we go further."

"Ah." Hiiro looked down.

"You know where you need to start."

He nodded, but he didn't know _how_ to start.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Emu asked, sliding onto the couch next to him. "You told me what Dan did to you, so why not this?"

"I didn't know how. At first I thought it didn't matter. You said no sex. Then that changed so fast and I didn't know what to say."

Emu made a strange sound.

Hiiro looked at him and was alarmed by his expression, which was…self-loathing? "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," Emu choked out, bowing his head. 

"What?" Hiiro reared back, alarmed.

"I pushed you into this. I took advantage of you. This is what I was afraid of."

Hiiro didn't know what to do when Emu was acting like this. What would Kiriya do? Ah. Hiiro grabbed Emu's shoulders and dragged him back into another kiss. It was a clumsy kiss, but Hiiro was _sure_ this is what Kiriya would do. Eventually, Emu stopped resisting and Hiiro let him go.

"What was that?" Emu asked quietly.

Bowing his head, Hiiro replied, "You didn't take advantage of me. I could have said no. If I wanted to."

"But I—"

"I'm not a _child_ ," Hiiro said firmly. "Don't treat me like one."

Emu froze. "I…you're right. I apologize."

"I trust you. And you haven't hurt me. Last night was…overwhelming. But it was…" He didn't have the words.

"It was, wasn't it?" Emu said, his smile emerging.

"You're not a mind reader. But I trust you."

Emu considered that. "Are you ready to talk more?"

Nodding, Hiiro leaned back into the couch.

"Tell me about you and Saki."

To his own surprise, Hiiro felt a wash of shame. "I cared about her," he said, feeling defensive.

"I believe you. But you never kissed. Are you not sexually attracted to women?"

Hiiro paused, trying to think. "I never…it never came up. I never looked at anyone that way."

Frowning, Emu tapped his fingers on his knee. "You weren't sexually attracted to anyone? Ever?"

Hiiro nodded. "I don't believe so."

"But you're attracted to me and Kiriya, right? You didn't just—"

"I am," Hiiro said, cutting Emu off before he could get worked up again. He'd hate to have to use the same trick twice.

"That's—"

"Weird, I know." Hiiro stared down at the wood floor. "I believe my classmates might have mentioned that once or twice."

"Hey."

Hiiro looked at Emu.

"I wasn't going to say weird. I was going to say 'interesting.' I find everything I learn about you interesting." Emu's smile was so sincere it was impossible to disbelieve him.

"Oh."

Emu bit his lip. "I have to check but I think the term I'm looking for is demisexual. It means attracted only to people you have an emotional connection to."

"But not Saki?"

Emu shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe you're both gay and demisexual? Do the exact labels really matter?"

"I suppose not." Hiiro realized he was squeezing his knees with his hands and forced them to relax.

"Okay, so…" Emu took one of his hands and held it. "You cared about Saki, but weren't attracted to her."

He nodded.

"And then there was Dan Masamune. Who you were definitely not sexually attracted to."

Shuddering, Hiiro managed to nod again. He was glad Emu was holding his hand, because it gave him an anchor to keep him from vividly recalling what had happened.

With a sigh, Emu said, "And then I came along, apparently out of the blue suggesting we have sex with my boyfriend."

"Well…yes."

"This is where it's my fault." Emu squeezed his hand. "I'd been thinking for some time that sex might be good for you, but only in my own head. I should have talked to you before that."

Hiiro nodded. He found himself wanting to make excuses for Emu but knew that was a bad idea. "I should have told you that I had never…that I had no experience with sex. I knew it was important."

"You were mocked for it in the past, you said."

"I still should have told you."

"Yes, you should have." Emu held his gaze. "No more hiding, even uncomfortable or painful things. No blindsiding me."

Hiiro bowed his head. "Yes."

Emu sighed, relaxing next to Hiiro. "We had that entire conversation about what you and I were willing to do and not do and it never occurred to me to ask what you had done."

Not an excuse, but… "You're not perfect. None of us is."

"I know but…"

"You want to be."

Emu laughed. "It sounds silly, I guess, but yeah, I want to be perfect for you and for Kiriya and for my patients."

"Not silly." Naïve, maybe, but not silly.

"You were thinking I'm still naïve, weren't you?" Emu mock-glared at him.

"Perhaps." Hiiro gave him his best imperious look, but was surprised when Emu's glare melted into something different, something he didn't know how to read. "What…?"

"Sorry." Emu squeezed the hand he was still holding. "I, um, that's a very sexy look on you."

Hiiro blinked at him. "It is?"

"Which…okay." Emu took a breath. "We need to talk about this. Do you want to talk with me first or with me and Kiriya?"

Hiiro considered it. It might be easier to get the conversation over with having both of them in the room, rather than having to start over with Kiriya. "Both, I think."

Nodding, Emu pulled out his phone. He seemed reluctant to let go of Hiiro's hand, but he texted Kiriya, asking him to come over. The phone beeped almost immediately and Emu's eyebrows rose. "Well," he said. "He's certainly eager. I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose."

"Hmm?" Hiiro was only half-listening as he squirmed until he was leaning against Emu, who put an arm around his shoulders. Relaxing with his head against Emu, Hiiro decided that cuddling was definitely an excellent invention.

"Comfy?" Emu asked, looking down at him. 

"Yes."

Emu grinned, squeezing his shoulder. "Anyway, I shouldn't be surprised Kiriya is so eager, considering how he reacted last night."

"What do you mean?"

"How do I explain it?" Emu hummed to himself. "He barely hesitated and he wasn't thrown off by my instructions. Sure, he knew in theory that was how it was going to be, but I'd expected him to be at least a little weirded out by the whole thing. He was a natural." 

Hiiro considered that. He didn't exactly have a point of comparison. "Is that a problem?"

"Oh no! Not at all. I should have known he'd secretly be a bit kinky."

Hiiro tilted his head to look up at Emu.

"No worries," Emu said, correctly interpreting the look. "He's not interested in taking my place. I just mean that he thinks it's sexy to see the two of us interacting."

"I'll take your word for it." Hiiro closed his eyes and soaked in the feeling of Emu holding him. He hadn't thought it was possible to feel better than when Emu was taking care of him, but this was clearly superior in every way.

* * *

When the doorbell rang about 15 minutes later, Emu sent Hiiro to answer it with a nudge on his shoulder. Opening the door, Hiiro automatically welcomed Kiriya in, but wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do after that. He hovered as Kiriya took off his shoes, feeling uneasy.

With a grin, Kiriya solved the problem by stepping up close. "I want to kiss you now."

Hiiro blinked, then nodded.

Kiriya slid a hand into Hiiro's hair, pulling him in, brushing their lips together. Once, twice, then he gently nipped at Hiiro's bottom lip.

Hiiro wasn't sure why that felt so good, but it did. Hesitantly, he tried the same thing, and Kiriya rewarded him by deepening the kiss. Before Hiiro realized it, he had both hands on Kiriya's shoulders, holding on for dear life.

Even Kiriya sounded slightly breathless when he finally pulled back. "I could get used to this."

Hiiro gradually managed to let go of Kiriya, pointing toward the living room. "This way," he said. His voice sounded strange to his own ears.

From his place on the couch, Emu grinned at both of them as they came in and Hiiro felt his face get warm, so he ducked his head. "It's okay," Emu said. "C'mere."

Hiiro went to him and let himself be drawn back into his previous position next to Emu. He couldn't quite manage to look at Kiriya, unsure how he would react, but the other man dropped onto the other side of Emu, propping his legs up on the couch so they went across both Emu's and Hiiro's laps.

Laughing, Emu put the arm that wasn't around Hiiro on Kiriya's legs and patted them. "Fair enough," he said.

Hiiro hesitantly moved his arm so it was also across Kiriya's legs and Emu turned to kiss him on the side of the head, so presumably that was the right thing to do.

"So," Kiriya said, nudging Hiiro's stomach with his foot. "Here we are."

Hiiro looked at Emu. So did Kiriya.

Emu looked back and forth between the two of them. "What makes you think I have any idea what to say?"

Kiriya folded his arms, eyebrows raised, and Hiiro settled for looking hopeful.

"You two are going to be the death of me," Emu muttered. "Okay. Um…we agreed to skip the rest of the trial period?" He looked down at Hiiro. "You're sure that's okay?"

"Yes." Hiiro took a breath and looked up. "I enjoyed it."

"I could tell," Kiriya said, grinning at him.

"And so did you," Hiiro said, feeling bold. "I could also tell."

Kiriya's grin just widened. "Absolutely. I'm not generally a fan of deflowering virgins, but that was hot. And it'll be more so when Emu here is in the mix too."

Hiiro caught his breath. He'd somehow forgotten about that. Under his ear, where he leaned against Emu's chest, he could feel Emu laugh. "I take it that's a good thought," Emu said.

"Yes."

"You should see the look on his face," Kiriya said. "Like a decade of Tanabata wishes come true at once."

Hiiro couldn't deny it. He had greatly enjoyed the previous evening with Kiriya, but the thought of both Emu _and_ Kiriya touching him? Being able to explore both of them as much as he wanted? Make them both feel good? It was more than his mind could handle right now. He shivered.

"You okay?" Emu asked, nudging at the top of his head.

Hiiro considered the question.

"A little overwhelmed?" Emu asked.

Hiiro nodded.

"Understandable."

"Yeah," Kiriya said. "It'd be a bit much for anyone right now."

"Even you?" Hiiro asked.

Giving him a lopsided grin, Kiriya nodded. "Even me." He was about to say more, but a pager started to beep. Emu and Hiiro both automatically reached for their pockets, but it proved to be Emu's. 

With a groan, Emu extricated himself from their pile and pulled out his phone to call the hospital back. Halfway through the door, he could be heard speaking to the duty nurse in the PICU about a child with respiratory difficulties.

Hiiro looked down at his hands, still not quite sure what to do when he was alone with Kiriya. He could feel the other man's gaze, so he looked up. Kiriya had an odd expression on his face. "Yes?" Hiiro asked.

"Sorry. I'm still getting used to how different you are here and in the hospital." Kiriya waved a hand. "Not that it's bad. Just different."

"When I'm with Emu outside of work, yes, I'm different."

Kiriya fidgeted, looking uncomfortable for the first time. "Look, I'm not…I don't want to be your…master or whatever Emu is."

Hiiro bit his lip, trying not to laugh. "Emu is right. You should be banned from using the Internet."

Snorting out a laugh, Kiriya shook his head. "I guess I deserved that. Okay, so we don't have the same relationship you and Emu have. Whatever you want to call that. But I do want to be more than fuckbuddies," he said, sobering. 

"We already are. I wouldn't have agreed to this if we weren't more."

"Ah." Kiriya gave him an assessing glance. 

How to explain something that he didn't really have words for? "We fought together. I didn't understand you at the start, but you were essential to our victory. And you are important to Emu." Hiiro scowled, knowing he wasn't making it clear.

"You really _are_ bad at this, aren't you?" Kiriya said.

Hiiro flinched.

"Hey." Kiriya leaned forward, catching his eye. "That was a joke, okay? You're doing fine. I'm not great at the feelings thing, either. That's what we have Emu for."

"Yes." Taking a breath, Hiiro nodded. 

"So…" Kiriya paused, thinking. "Maybe we shouldn't try to define this."

"Probably not."

"But you don't need to, um…" Kiriya paused. 

"Obey you?" Hiiro suggested.

"Right! That. I get that it works for you and Emu and that's great, but it's not for me." 

Hiiro tilted his head, considering Kiriya. "I don't think I'm in any danger of obeying you."

"Aaaand, I'm pretty sure I just got insulted again." But Kiriya was smiling as he said it. "So I don't know what we are exactly, but I’m not Emu to automatically see what you need."

"Nobody else is Emu."

Kiriya chuckled quietly. "True. But my point is that if you need something from me, you have to tell me."

Considering that, Hiiro looked at the man sitting at the other end of the couch. "The same goes for you."

"Huh?"

"If you need something from me, you need to tell me. You may not have noticed, but I'm not always good with people."

Kiriya, lips twitching, said, "Mmm, I hadn't noticed."

"So, what do you want?"

"I'm not sure," Kiriya said slowly. "At first it was a bit of fun. I didn't really think about what I was getting into."

Hiiro told himself it wasn't a surprise and it shouldn't hurt. It still did a little bit.

"It's more than that now," Kiriya said. "I'm not…this is more than just sex, okay? But I don't know where it's going to end up."

"Fair enough. I don't know that either." Hiiro took a steadying breath. "I do have a request."

"Oh? Fire away."

"Please kiss me again."

Kiriya needed no time to think about it, looming over Hiiro, gently pushing him back against the leather of the couch. "Gladly," he said, lips descending.

Closing his eyes, Hiiro let Kiriya guide him. It was still intense, intense enough that he didn't hear Emu until he was kneeling on the couch next to Kiriya. "You started without me," Emu said. Hiiro's eyes widened and he started to speak, but Emu put up a hand. "It's okay. You can do what you like with Kiriya when I'm not there unless I specifically tell you otherwise in advance."

Kiriya sat back on his heels while Hiiro thought about that. "Thank you," he said after a moment.

With a lazy grin, Kiriya pulled on Emu's shoulders until they could kiss as well. Hiiro stared, dumbfounded. How was it almost as good to watch them kiss? But it was. He knew what both of them felt like, what they tasted like, and…

With a gasped breath, Emu pulled back to look at Hiiro. "Care to join in?"

Hiiro pounced on them, nearly knocking everyone to the floor.

"Whoa!" Kiriya said, laughing as he fell backward onto the arm of the couch, tugging the other two with him. "No rush. We have all night."

Emu tugged Hiiro close, kissing him for a moment, then sliding his lips down Hiiro's neck. "All night," Emu murmured.

Tilting his head to give Emu better access, Hiiro let himself melt against Kiriya, who immediately wrapped his arms around Hiiro. Kiriya whispered into his other ear, "We've got you."

They certainly did have him, Hiiro thought, reaching out to tug Emu's shirt up. 

And Hiiro wouldn't want it any other way.

\--end--


End file.
